Friday, July 20, 2012

Freedom 55 - Not what You Think it Means

JULY 20, 1957

A good year for many, music, and me :).

55 years is a long time but there are many things to like about being this age.  For instance; my husband and I are now empty nesters.  All 4 of my children have spread their wings and flown the coop.  This is good.  A big adjustment but good. After 33 years of  'mothering'  I am at the age where I can come and go as I please without someone asking for help with something, a ride, a run to the store, some money, something to eat, something to wash...except for  my husband of course.  

Freedom 55...its not what they say on the ads - at least not for me right now insofar as retirement - but it is still freedom.  This new phase of our lives is the first time in most of my adult life that I do not have to worry about who's home, who needs to be picked up, who needs to be fed, who isn't home yet, etc.  This is Freedom.  Freedom from worry, anxiety, stress, sleepless nights (alright - I am past the age of menopausal midnight awakenings - more freedom), high hydro bills, high water usage, wow.  That's a lot of freedom.  And all at once.  We went from 2 kids still living at home last fall to both of them moving out and into their own pads. (yes that's an oldie I pulled out from somewhere lol).  They both seem to be very happy with their choices which they both made willingly.  

However, I for one was still thinking my youngest would stay at home for 2 more years while she finished university.  Then things change.  She is still in university but she is also in love.  I am happy for her (and him).  I, on the other hand, was sad, bereft even. I had a hard time with the letting go.  I have done so much and spent so much time with her over the past 20 years.  She is my baby and yet she is not a baby.  Last night I watched her walk away hand in hand with her love as they returned to their condo.  Somehow that small thing was a big thing.  She was walking away from us but towards her future.  That gave me a sense of peace and closure.   

So, today I look at my freedoms.  And I rejoice.  That my children had the freedom to choose their lives and made good choices is also a freedom for me.  Freedom from guilt.  I do not have to feel guilty that I may have done something while they were growing up that may have adversely affected them.  I know that they will succeed at whatever they choose to do.  They will be happy.  That is freedom.  For me, for them.  Be free little birds, your mama loves you unconditionally and has let you go.

Freedom 55 - that's me and my husband - we have achieved great things.  And great things are yet to come.

Love you all - Happy 55 Birthday to me :)