Happy St. Patricks Day !

Today is a big day in our household. 29 years and 20 years ago I had babies. Crystal Ann Patricia and nine years later Nicholas Thomas Gerald. I could not have planned it if I had tried. Crystal was born 4 weeks early by induction and Nicholas was 9 days late!! She was 6lbs 1 oz and he weighed a hefty 9lbs 4 oz. I wish I could say they are close but unfortunately that is not the way it has turned out.

I could write a book about the trials and tribulations of having 2 families. The way that people use others as a control or revenge mechanism. My ex seriously and purposely ruined the relationship my daughter has with me and my 2 younger children. For whatever reason this was done - whether control, revenge, anger, jealousy, money - it is a very very sad situation. I have tried to cross the bridge with her but it keeps crashing down. Her anger and manufactured memories against me will not allow her to grow up and go on. I cannot keep opening up myself to the hurt and pain she continues to inflict on me. I only pray that someday, somehow, she will reach out.

Nicholas is in Calgary for his birthday - first time in 20 years he has not been with me on this day. It feels very strange. I have not been with Crystal on her birthday since she turned 14 (wow 15 years...:( ) but I still think of her and miss her especially on this day. Sharing a birthday with her brother has been both a negative experience for her (initial jealousy ) and later a bonus. I am not sure what Nick will be doing today but I am sure that it will involve being at a pub! Last year for his 19th we joined him at a pub for his first legal day of drinking (that sounds bad doesnt it?) with his close friends and then left them to their own devices for the rest of the night. We will be off to the Mad Hatter tonight. My sister being in town we will walk over and have a great time.

Yesterday I took my niece Lindsay and my daughter Hayley shopping on Queen Street for fabric for their prom dresses. Surprisingly it only took 2 hours. We were totally succesful and hopefully they are both happy with their choices. Now for the sewing! Both girls are such complete opposites and their dress/fabric choices reflect this as well. I will post pictures after they are finished in the near future.

Almost There

Today I am seriously pooped. My lovely dancer has to be at school for 7am on Tues and Thurs for dance team - of which she is the captain. For some reason no matter what time I hit the sack the night before, getting up at 6 throws me all out of whack. Brain function is very low. Oh well - next year I wont have to worry about that anymore - I think I will really miss it!

This past weekend was her first competition of the season. Her pointe solo and her ballet group did very well. Although - never as well as she would like. She is sooo hard on herself. I guess that is why she is such a great dancer! This coming weekend is her first official competition in Salsa with her partner Kevin. She has been performing salsa for 6 years but has decided to start competing as well. Should be fun and a great opportunity for her and Kevin.

Nick is off to Calgary on Thursday. He has no sense of humour when I nicely suggested that he required more funds in order to pay first and last months rent when he got there. Am I wrong to think at 20 he should be thinking of moving out??? I am such a bad mom. Anyways, he will be visiting a friend and his 2 uncles and their families while he is there. Of course I am sure snowboarding is also on the agenda.

While he is away, my sister Kathy and my niece Lindsay are coming for 4 days. Lindsay wishes to have me make her prom dress so her and Hayley will be doing research/shopping while here. I am looking forward to spending time with the both of them, I will keep you posted on the dress research.

Over the course of this week I have 3 dance schools costumes to finish - that is why I am not good at keeping this blog up to date :(. I am sure you understand. One school I was sure I was finished but the jacket (dont we hate sewing jackets in lycra!) has issues and has to be addressed before the end of the day tomorrow. I also have Hayley's dance team and new salsa dress to be done by end of day Thursday. Yikes - I should be sewing - not blogging!

Signing off for now...